Job shadow

#2 came to the health center this afternoon and job shadowed me for a few hours.  I enjoyed having him there.  I introduced him to all of the residents.  They had fun meeting him, Heidi and #5 as they dropped him off.

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Saturday off

They have cut my hours this weekend.  We have dropped in numbers of residents over the last week and now don't need the same number of aids on the floor so, as the on call aid, I was dropped from the schedule for Saturday and Sunday.  I still may be called in for another aid if they need to find someone. 

We made carmel popcorn last night and watched season 2, episode 1 of Greatest American Hero, (called "two hundred mile an hour fastball")  as a family in pjs and blankets on the family room couches after getting number 5 in bed.  After the episode, it was ten o'clock so we got the rest in bed and Heidi worked until nearly one in the morning.

Marleen sent home another pair of scrubs for me.  She has given me every pair I own, which is three: my dallas cowboys, a solid blue, and these new solid black ones.  They are very much appreciated and fit great.  She also sent food from Costco; yogurt, pretzels and other things for the kids lunches at school - very kind of her.

Heidi and I got away for a few minutes last night before dinner and went to Walmart, where we had a 25 dollar gift card received at Christmas from generous people.  We purchased a can opener and ping pong paddles.  The can opener is self explanatory and because our hand opener was becoming all but ineffective, (number 2 and I both cut our selves opening cans.)  The paddles were for my Saturday chore.  The RS president have a full size table tennis table that she need to get rid of a few months ago.  Another neighbor got in the first request for it but then discovered that it wouldn't fit in their basement.  They then gave it to us.  It has been folded up in the garage since the fall.  This morning I wheeled it out and with the help of Heidi and #'s 1 and 2, I took off the wheels and some of the base so that it would fit down the stairs.  We then hauled it down and put it back together.  We now have another free family activity filling up another corner of the basement.  Heidi and I have taken it for a spin.  It should be fun.

It is movie and dinner in our pjs over at Marleen's tonight.  She purchased that recent Disney horse racing movie and wants the grand kids to come and watch it together.  We are all going to put on pjs and make an evening of it with a yummy dinner before the movie of BBQ beef or pork sandwiches.

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Movin on

I was officially let go from Nebo Credit Union last Thursday.  They needed someone there more often than I could give. I was down to two afternoons a week.  The other three were busy at the Health Center.  At least for this month.  The new schedule comes out in a day or two for February.

So I am down to working as close to full time as I can for the Health Center, One patient for Health watch (home health) and school three days a week studying Human Anatomy.

I worked 2pm to 10 pm on Wednesday.  There was a resident that was scared that night.  I sat next to her while she clutched my hand for about fifteen minutes and I talked with her.  She said that she was scared of people and scared of dying.

Monday afternoon as I was helping a lady into a reclining chair in her room, she burst into tears and put her head on my shoulder and cried.  She was fearful that her doctor was going to tell her that her Parkinson's was getting worse.  She had an appointment that afternoon.  She found me later and called me over to her dinner table and told me about her appointment.  She was relieved that the doctor had answered her questions. But it didn't seem like better news to me.  He said that the Parkinson's is only slightly worse.  The trouble is that she is developing signs of Alzheimer's disease.  The  doctor has changed her meds.

One of the residents came to me and told me that I shouldn't have left her roommate out in the snow like that.  I told her that I had helped her roommate to a seat on the couch and not into the snow.  She went to look and came back to tell me not to worry, her roommate had made it back in from outside and was now sitting on the couch.  I expressed my relief.

One of the residents is a huge Louis L'Amour fan.  She brought one of her favorites for me to read on my breaks.  I have it in the cupboard by the Nurse's station and I try to read it on every break.  she will ask me every day where I am in the book and if I have gotten to this part or that.  She has more books waiting when I am done with this one.  She is only there at the Center during the day while her husband of 53 years is at work.  He then comes and picks her up to go home for dinner.

I was doodling in a napkin before a work meeting and afterwords I gave the doodles to one of the resident.  She told me days later that she has it pinned to her wall in her room and shows it to everyone who visits and says "See what Aaron can do!"  But I can't remember what I doodled.  She is a very sweet and extremely dignified woman, I was flattered.

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Showing gratitude

Heidi's FHE lesson last night was on showing gratitude.  We talked about how we show gratitude and then had each member of the family make a list of some of the things of which we are grateful and at the end describe one way that we will show gratitude going forward.  Here was my "off the cuff" list.

My wife
My children
My Heavenly Father
My home
My parents
My country
Peace
Love
My brothers/sisters
My Cowboys
My truck
Christmas and Thanksgiving
Food Network
Ham and Cheese sandwiches
Cheese balls and crackers
Popcorn and movies
Warm blankets and rainy afternoons
All You Can Eat restaurants
Friday nights
Cruises
Pajamas
Holidays
Fishing
Watching snow fall in the street lights
Hot dogs with mustard
Rice pudding
Hot Water
Beef sticks
Snuggling
Ice Cream
Giving gifts
Smiles

I will be more prayerful and read my scriptures more regularly.

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Passed!

I passed my final CNA exam.   I am officially on the State of Utah CNA Registery.

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A life divided

My day is divided into three parts.  (A) calling on, applying and looking up jobs.  (B) applying for school, looking up possible scholarships, preparing essays and other needed materials for the scholarships.  (C) studying for the State CNA Skills test.

I officially applied for enrollment at UVU today.  Next is to visit the school education and pre-nursing councilors.  School starts on January 5th.

Heidi helped by quizzing me for my skills test today.  I then ruined her circulation by trying to practice taking  blood pressures on her arms.  Didn't get either one and made her arms ache.  What a wonderful nurse!  I will have to turn in my little white dress and the little tri-fold hat.

No luck on the job front yet.  I will be a sqeaky wheel tomorrow at Costco to see if I can get on there.

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My dryer is working!!!

No more wet clothes hanging from my lights over the dining room table!  Collect the boys underware from the door knobs.  We have heat!!!!

Blessings come in various sizes, shapes and temperatures!!!!

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Fired!

Family First decided (let's clarify here, NCUA decided, since they are the devil or, I mean, the controlling party) to "abolish" my position at the credit union.  They released me 2 days before the end of September so that my insurance would end then instead of the credit union paying for another month of insurance.  May they all burn in the tiny recesses of ...... sorry, where was I?  Work, and house seem to be crumbling around my ears.  No strong prospects for new employment yet.  Neither of the two dryers in my home works so I have wet clothes hanging from every surface, hook and ledge.  I am smacked in the face with the stark realization of how poorly I am providing for my family.  This is a bad day.

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Loaves and fishes

Enjoyed a shortened day at work, thanks to my immediate boss allowing me to take a few personal hours in the afternoon.  I met Heidi at the grocery store where we worked between the "rock" of having no money for anything including groceries and the "hard place" of needing to feed the childrem something.  Heidi has been a magician in the kitchen, creating wonderful meals out of the garden and the last few items of a quickly depleating food storage.  The fridge has even been free of condiments the last week or two.  It would have looked like we were cleaning the fridge except for the fact that there was nothing to put back in it.  Now I see how Christ worked the loaves and fishes.  Heidi is working the zucchini and cucumbers.

We walked over to the school and picked up the girls.  This is the third straight day that I have been able to get the kids from school or have lunch with them.

We have a get-together BBQ with 3 neighbors this evening.  We are making a few things to share.  I just took out my second set of loaves of zucchini bread from the oven.  I have also finished simmering a pot of brazilian beans on the stove.  I still need to make some rice.  We have the chicken breasts marinating in the fridge and a package of hot dogs waiting for their turn on the grill when we get over there.

Heidi's sister had a few free passes to the pool this afternoon so Heidi to the C and two older girls and invited one of BG's and C's friends to go too.  M and BR stayed with me.  The kitcken smells like Cinnamin and Garlic.

Friday night!  I'm glad for the weekend.

Maybe I will make some rice pudding tomorrow.  I have a great baked custard style rice pudding recipe  and if I add raisins I will be able to eat it all myself!!

M is getting into the shredded paper again.

Chau

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New addition

New addition to my dream instrument collection. 
It is a relatively cheap bass respectively, a Squire, the little brother to Fender Guitars Co.  It is a beautiful bass with a maple neck and pearl block inlays, modeled after the vintage 1977 Fender jazz bass.  I was 5 years old when it was originally released!  The following is the company write up on it.

Vintage Modified Jazz Bass® ‘77

The Vintage Modified Jazz Bass ’77 evokes the age of funk and the dawn of punk. It’s a retro-inspired gloss black beauty with Duncan Designed™ Jazz Bass pickups, black plastic Stratocaster® knobs, one-piece maple neck with white binding and white pearl block inlays, 20-fret maple fingerboard, and a three-ply black/white/black pickguard.

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Good Reads!

Following Mer's example, I will represent the other half of the library with my "Good Reads"

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My personal goals

This is a list of long term personal goals that I want to accomplish.  They will be posted by my bed.  They are personal goals that deal with personal interests and desires and do not reflect any of my other family or spiritual goals.

1) Finish my CNA certification.
2) Lose weight until I weigh 215 lbs and maintain the weight.
3) Start a business.
4) Pay off the house.
5) Have Life Insurance on myself.
6) Have $250,000.00 in savings.
7) Create and write in a journal everyday.
8) Write at least 10 full stories and have them published.
9) Own a Fender Jazz Bass, an acoustic bass and a Fender Stratocaster guitar.
10) Learn to play the bass proficiently enough to play in community theater.
11) Learn to play the guitar proficiently for fun.
12) Compose and write a hymn.
13) Properly manage my diabetes.
14) See a Dallas Cowboys game in Cowboys stadium with my sons. (both of them)
15) Take my wife on a second honeymoon without worrying about the cost.

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To Richard

There are moments in life that resonate with you, fleeting experiences that have a profound affect on critical points of your life. Some may only take on profundity with the aid of time and perspective as the act crystallizes its impact as a bridge over life’s severe chasms. The act, motivated by simple love and moved upon without complex or manipulative forethought, carries with it the power to soothe, to act as a balm to a fearful and mournful heart. I have experienced such moments. I was the recipient of such an act seven years ago and have never fully realized the impact nor have I expressed the gratitude that I have felt for that expression of love. It came unrequested and unexpected. It was truly a response from a loving Heavenly Father to an unspoken prayer, to a need unrealized by the recipient.

Background:

When my daughter was born, life started to rotate a little slower. The hospital seemed to be chaos to a parent unprepared. The baby was taken from us moments after she was born. She was placed in an ICU unit with little explanation. Her care started with the nurse assigned to the ICU and continued to a supervisor and then to a team of individuals attempting to get my little new born daughter to breathe and retain oxygen. There was, as of yet, no mention of the pending diagnosis that would scare, frighten and throw me abruptly into a hitherto fore unimaginable changing of life’s paradigm. She was stabilized with the use of 4 liters of oxygen pumped into a tiny tent.

I left the hospital and my wife that night, who had yet to see her new daughter or to receive any explanation to her condition, and went to bed at mom’s house. I was awakened by a sobbing wife, requesting that I come meet with the doctors in the ICU. I rushed to my baby’s bedside. A very cold and clinical specialist asked if I was the father and then abruptly began explaining how my daughter was different, what challenges she would face and what to expect for her life. A tender family physician attempted to temper the analytical daggers cutting on my heart but by then the room was spinning and all I could do was mumble to them that we needed to go explain this to my wife, who still had not yet seen nor held her baby.

Life altered on that day. Like the grind of changing gears on a bike, the picture and vision of life cracked. I didn’t know how to put that picture back together because I didn’t know how the new picture was supposed to look. For a few days, all I had was the empty picture frame from where life had once been held.

Not knowing or having a concept of the future but only knowing that my vision of life for my newest daughter had changed abruptly and that she might not experience life, in the way that I expected or understood it, caused me to mourn for her and for myself.

I was still in mourning the next evening. My other children were back home now with me. Heidi was with my daughter in the hospital. I had put the other three children in bed when the doorbell rang unexpectedly. Richard was at the door by himself, holding a Tupperware bowl. I invited him in and he went to the kitchen and dished me up a meal that he had made, under the guise of “wanting me to try it.” When it was ready, he asked me about my baby and how I was feeling. He then sat down next to me, let me eat, and proceeded to allow me to talk, cry and unload for the best part of an hour. He comforted me and gave me the shoulder that I didn’t know that I needed. He listened without judgment and let me mourn. He helped me get it out, to breathe and refocus. When I was done, he left quietly, in Richard’s unassuming way, as if he had done nothing. But for a few moments he carried me when I was afraid of moving forward. He was sensitive to a need and I am forever grateful.

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Beginnings - The Elwood Dead End

The rain fell in waves across the dirty streets, washing the surface filth and decay into the overflowing sewers. Abandoned and condemned, the apartment buildings at the end of Elwood Avenue, named after the late Mayor Durwin C. Elwood, rose into the soggy night sky like tombstones. Elwood Avenue ended abruptly ten feet beyond the last empty building. A forty foot high cement wall, covered in the colors and images of street youth expression, hid the Fourteenth Street off ramp to the freeway, effectively cutting off any through traffic and creating the Elwood dead end.

Lightning cracked, exposing the choked and cluttered alleyways like a beam from a flash light. The doors of the condemned building, once sealed shut, now swung back and forth on rusty hinges, whining and moaning, as the wind and storm played catch.

Edward McClure, or “Eddie” to his regulars, owned a tiny grocery store on the corner of Elwood and Mathis, a block from the freeway and the Elwood dead end. Eddie stood five feet six inches tall and weighed Three hundred and forty one pounds on a good day. He rarely moved from behind the coffee stained checkout counter, which ran along the front window facing Mathis Boulevard. He gave orders and directed traffic from where he sat by swinging and pointing two pudgy fingers, holding a frayed cigar which looked like it had been stopped on.

With three to four days growth across his swollen and greasy jowls and neck, Eddie sat and watched life pass through the hazy, foggy windows of his store. He wore a yellowed tank top, stretched tightly across a bulging, hairy stomach which permanently creased where it rested across the inner edge of the counter. The tank top sat untucked but without reaching the top of Eddie’s stained and weathered blue jeans, which rode low across his hips and covered little in the back where they sat perched atop of a creaky metal bar stool behind the counter.

Eddie leaned back from the counter, against a rack of adult magazines, and ran his left hand through the few remaining strands of greasy hair that spread across the top of his head. He reached for the remote control, nestled in a basket of credit card receipts, flipped on the TV to the late eleven o’clock news and turned up the volume. The store had been empty since early evening and he was bored.

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Beginnings - Banker’s Hours

The concussion of the blast shook the tiny town of Hillbrow. The grayish blue of the early morning winter sky blossomed blood red. Flames shot skyward carrying chunks of brick, charred splintered wood and plumes of smoldering paper. The wispy fingerling morning clouds brightened and then disappeared behind the large black swirling ball of smoke and gas.
The ball rose and spread throughout the sky as if it were spread with a knife. Debris from the explosion began raining from the blackened sky, hitting the ground, denting hoods and smashing windshields of parked cars, littering the narrow asphalt streets and grass, covering the area with smoldering missiles.

Fire crackled and danced throughout the remains of the jagged black smoking fangs of foundation. Dust and tiny bits of unrecognizable material covered the grass around the rectangular mass of flame and smoldering cement. The First Bank of Hillbrow was gone. What remained looked like a huge nest for a mythical bird, as if a Phoenix would rise from the smoke and ashes to claim its perch. Sleepy people began slipping into the streets to see what had shaken them from their Sunday morning slumber.

Jack awoke with a start, as if he were falling in a dream and had awakened at the final moment before impact. He lay there in the same double bed that he had slept in as a child, head up, looking at the dimpled texture of the off-white ceiling. Stretching out with his toes, he yawned and rubbed an eye with his fingers.

Something had awakened him, physically shaken him from sleep. Normally, Jack could sleep through practically anything. He wondered what had dragged him from his sweet abyss. He closed his eyes again; hmmmm, still sleepy. He curled to one side and pulled the heavy comforter up across his shoulder.

“I would awake during the best dream I’ve had all month,” he mumbled. Working his head back into the pillow, he let his breathing slow and felt himself drift away again. Back to the dimly lit bar, she was still sitting on his lap. Her long curls were pulled away from her face and clipped behind her head. She was giggling at his witty remarks. How he had convinced her to come over to his table, he had no idea, didn’t care really. Dreams didn’t have to make sense, they were dreams after all, and this certainly wasn’t realistic for Jack.

He let his eyes drift down her body, from the tight cream colored, sleeveless cotton top, pausing briefly, down her stomach to equally tight pink shorts which displayed ample amounts of perfect thigh. His mind quivered, everything quivered. He could feel his toes clench and unclench in his shoes. What should he say to move this thing along, he wondered. Fortunately, dream time seemed easier to control, strange in a way.

“Cari,” he stammered past dry lips and throat, hoping that he had remembered her name correctly. He paused, waiting and watching her face as it reflected orange and gold from the lights above the bar. The music was loud; she might not have heard him. Boy, he needed a drink about now. He licked his lips and spoke again. “Cari?”

“Yes,” she responded softly, the words almost lost in the sea of music and chatter from the rest of the bar. She leaned into him, putting her cotton candy colored lips to his ear. He could feel her body press against his chest. She has got to be able to feel my heart thumping, Jack thought. He turned and looked up into her eyes, those twinkling, mesmerizing, man crushing eyes.

“How about us getting out of here? We could go somewhere quiet and talk or something?” He knew that it sounded stupid, he was already embarrassed, how desperate could one sound!

She smiled coyly and slid more squarely into his lap. Nibbling at his ear, she whispered, “Let’s go!”

His body was numb with excitement. This was going to be a night to be documented in the history of Hillbrow. Jack reluctantly lifted Cari off his lap, helping those long legs to their feet. He rose from the wooden chair like a drunken sailor, intoxicated with anticipation.

BBBBBRRRRRRIIINNNGGGGG!!! BBBBBRRRRRRIIINNNGGGGG!!!

The phone on the desk of Jack’s studio apartment shattered the moment! Jack nearly fell out of bed, his face damp with perspiration. “Aurggggh,” Jack clamored for the phone, squinting around the room for it in his disorientation. Locating the enemy, Jack swore at it viciously!

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