As the head spins

I am the last one standing.

Wife collapsed this morning, she was put on medicine as of last night by her OBGYN. She is in bed from the flu as well as throwing up from the nausea of the medication.

Both girls are on medication and Advil. They feel well enough, during the day, as to not want to stay down but are more sick at night with deep coughs and low oxygen. I have had the opportunity to sleep on the floor under each of the girl's beds, the last two nights, with one eye on the oxygen saturation monitor. My 38 year old creaky body doesn't feel as good after sleeping on the floor as it did as a kid, my neck is fairly sore.

The oldest boy is still in bed most of the time with the flu symptoms.

The second oldest has been on the living room floor for the past five days, valiantly avoiding the whole mess. He is slowly succumbing. Yesterday and today he has developed the cough, the headache and the stuffy nose. He still stays on the floor though, no extra rooms left to store him.

I win! Wasn't it a competition? The last one standing wins? Don't I get some sort of golden virus statuette. Hey, where is the love and where is the girl in the skimpy black dress to present the award to me? Out sick! I will give my prepared speech anyway.

I want to thank a fairly strong immune system, I want to thank an exaggerated sense of laziness that has helped my avoid significant contact with the sick kids, I want to thank the members of the foreign press, without which we never would have learned of the H1N1 (swine) flu. And finally, my family, if not for their pitiful callapse and subservitude to illness, I might not be getting this award today!

I think I remembered everyone. Where is the press room?